


We're Not Who We Used to Be

by 2amphan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:15:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2amphan/pseuds/2amphan
Summary: Dan and Phil are dead, they meet in the afterlife and reminisce on the lives they left behind.





	We're Not Who We Used to Be

Dan was sat on a fifteenth floor balcony, his legs dangled off the edge and he pressed his forehead upon the metal railing. Phil sat next to him, they hadn’t talked very much before, he hadn’t talked to many people since he died. Dan wanted to know all about him though, the glowing effects of the afterlife on his skin perfectly contrasted with his black hair, he was gorgeous and Dan was certain that something beautiful had to be inside too.

“So, here’s the million dollar question,” Dan spoke. “How’d you die?” He put it out there, no sugarcoating, no humor, just the raw, painful query. Sure, he had all the time in the world - considering he was dead - but he was damn interested in Phil and taking things slow didn’t appeal. Instead, Dan wanted to take a head first dive into everything Phil. He wanted to swim in his stories, wade through his past life, dip into his regrets and doubts, and drown in the person he was now. He wanted to be submerged into Phil’s life and never come back up for air. Phil’s low, thick voice brought Dan back into reality.

“I died of heart failure. All the blood clogged up and it just stopped. I remember standing up in the ER and at that moment I had never felt more tired in my entire life. I was so fatigued to the point where I couldn’t walk, and if I needed to be somewhere, I’d have to be carried. I didn’t live for long after we found out what was wrong. I think 3 months.” He spoke very slowly, every word laced with a plethora of different emotions: grief, sorrow, homesickness, worry, relief. “How did you go, Dan?” Phil finally asked after reminiscing on his memories. Dan let out a small chuckle, to Phil it seemed an inappropriate time for laughing, but Dan? Dan couldn’t help but feel as if his way of passing was humorous compared to Phil’s. Phil didn’t want to leave, he had more to accomplish in that life, he missed his family, his friends, and would give anything to take back his spot in mortality.

“I killed myself.” He said it. Loud and clear. He wasn’t ashamed anymore, he wasn’t proud but he learned that he was brave. Not brave in the sense of living, but brave in the sense of dying. He was brave enough to jump, brave enough to end his own life. “I jumped off a bridge near my house, it wasn’t tall but below it was a stream and it had tons of rocks. I mean I must admit it was a beautiful sight - fleeting, ****but beautiful.” Phil stared at him, eyes shocked but his mouth stayed taut.

“Do you regret it?” Phil questioned silently dissing his foolish question. Dan thought for a moment, searching for the words that could really get through to Phil and not just act as some glossed over lie. 

“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. I miss some things and looking back, I’m sure my problems were solvable, but I mean life is life Phil. I just believe that maybe everything happens for a reason.” Phil nodded, acknowledging his answer. 

“I just miss my family.” Phil finally broke, tears streaming down his gently glowing face. Dan patted the small of his back and pulled him into a hug. 

“Do you want to talk about them?” Dan asked, trying to calm him down. Phil agreed and talked. Forcing his wobbly voice to make words, but soon no force was needed. He and Dan talked for hours, banter flowing easily between them as if they had been friends for years before. Phil’s life was so rich with stories, everything he had achieved, and everything that Phil talked about was interesting to Dan. From childhood stories to his last few months, Dan was fully engulfed in Phil. The floppy way his hands moved when he talked, how his tongue stuck out a little when he laughed, and how every sharp edge and gentle curve on his face complimented the other. Dan noticed it all, and was slowly falling in love with every bit of Phil. 


End file.
